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How to start it just to end it…

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I have been contemplating how or if to post this, so I apologize for the long silence and delay. Many of you may have already heard some details but here are some more.

My request for conditional use zoning was denied. It was denied on the technical fact that Clinton County requires twenty acres to operate a wedding venue and it seems the board did not find this property unique enough to grant the variance for that one item exception.  The other needed variances did pass however, ironically.  I think my failure was not understanding comprehensively how this process worked and assuming others knew and loved this house as much as I did.  I do not do politics well and apparently I did not make a compelling enough argument for the Tower House, and how special, I and most of you know it is.  Not to mention, I was met with huge opposition that I’m pretty sure NO ONE expected to be as aggressive and combative as it was 

As I stated in one of my very first posts  I am not a fan of social media.  It’s a double edge sword, and  no matter what, someone is going to get cut.   Anything can be twisted or taken out of context in order to support an opposing view and unfortunately that is what happened.

I reluctantly agreed to create a social media page for the Tower House in order to share the story of this house, and because so many people had reached out with excitement and encouragement  for the property.  I tried to be honest and true to myself and to everyone as I always do.  But unfortunately, like all things, it only takes a few to twist your words and intentions to benefit their narrative.  I will humbly admit I was naive.  I genuinely thought that when I decided to open myself up to the risks of being public and out there on social media that the main negative feedback I was going to have to deal with was from the historical enthusiasts. I was prepared for them to tear me apart if I messed up any aspect of the preservation process of this structure;  if I changed the wrong elements the wrong way or used the wrong techniques to historically and accurately restore this house.  I never imagined I would be so attacked and have my words and intentions skewed from outsiders of our community who don’t even live here yet.  But to their defense they had as much a right to object to my zoning requests as I had to request them.  And ultimately  the codes are in place in an attempt to be fair to everyone.  

I do understand their concerns and if I had been given the chance would have loved to work out a compromise and work harmoniously with my neighbors.  I was excited to offer discounted rates to my direct neighbors if they ever wanted to use the venue. 

I don’t feel like being fake or acting to be higher than or more skilled than I am.  I don’t live by, “fake it till you make it.”  I know others do and that works for them.  But I want to stay humble and honest, and I have no hesitancy about learning and accomplishing new things and admitting when I’m inexperienced and need guidance. I’m content to admit that I don’t know everything but have no qualms diving and figuring it out.  Most of you closest to me know this is actually one of the few times I have ever failed.  Failure is just not something I have accepted. If you work hard enough and are willing to adapt, some form of success is always in reach even if it looks different than what you set out to achieve.    I did enjoy, however painfully, learning how council meetings and zoning codes happen and the processes involved.  I have never been the applicant before and don’t really want to do so again.   Honest review of my performance I think I did poorly.  I’m not a lawyer or public speaker,  I am first and foremost a mom and wife.  I am secondly a real estate investor, property manager, landlord and occasionally even a general contractor.  Whether that admission helps or hurts I don’t know and I don’t care.  I am not going to hide who I am or what my priorities are in deception even if it means I don’t succeed this time.  So if people want to use that against me to say I am unqualified that is their right and prerogative.  It is too bad they will never get the opportunity to meet me.  I love this community where we watch out for each other, work together, and call on each other to create things that can benefit all of us and improve our county.  I have worked with so many amazing people around our community, and above all else,  the people I have always worked with strive for compromise. I hope our new county members joining our community, as they build their dream homes and retirement homes, are met by that character quality of our town.   I have tried not to turn their attacks into spite (I’m sure that statement itself may be interpreted as evil or skewed in some way because  I’m sure they are still watching to see if I will continue the fight. ) I have tried hard not to take the harsh words and letters written about me, dragging me through mud in an attempt to prove my incompetence as personal.  Even to the extent that during the zoning meeting I had to stifle my husband from going nuclear, as he was ready to defend the attacks against me.  He read all twelve letters and packets written in opposition right before the meeting.  I looked over his shoulder and skimmed. ( I have still not read them all completely and I’m not sure I ever will or can).  I watched as his demeanor changed so drastically from his typical cool under pressure, professional executive self, to husband ready to die on the sword for his wife.  Unfortunately that night I needed him to be former and he just couldn’t.   I am touched by his emotions and honored by what I know he would have done and said to defend me.  I know the extent he would have gone to had I not pinched his leg, held on to his shirt and begged him to stand down.  

If there is anything spiteful to say it is this, and it is not necessarily meant to be spiteful, but it is an ugly truth about humanity.  The saying that you don’t mess with people with money.  It is true.  I have contemplated if I should pursue the bed and breakfast only and not the wedding venue, or appeal the decision and continue to fight.  I hesitate not only because I’m out there now and being watched, scrutinized and judged, but I wouldn’t have the financial means to fight the lawyers of my opposition that it seemed were on standby and unable to make it to that night’s meeting.   Even if I did fight or had won, I do not want to operate constantly on defense or at odds with my neighbors.  I don’t want to be neighbors and operate a business with people that won’t discuss and compromise or exist harmoniously. Perhaps I’m naive but I can be in this.  I don’t have to exist in the proximity of people who come out, guns blazing, with their lynching party, prepared with legal council on retainer, if there would ever be any disagreements or perceived wrong doings across property lines.  

This project was not a self advancing goal, if it had been, as I mentioned in one of my first blogs, the seller would not have sold to me in the first place.  The intention of the previous seller and myself was to preserve and restore this piece of history. My goal was to share it with the community and everyone who has admired it over its 134 years. I had it for over three months before I figured out a way I could do just that and cover its overhead.   I had hoped to honor the history of the house and its historic value.  I had little placards started to be displayed around the house, that would tell the story of the house and its family. Those that visited could read and understand more of the architecture and building techniques used in the late nineteenth century and even more of the  family that built it and that are still living in our community.  Their support of this project has been so encouraging.  I am so honored to have gotten to know some of the Underwood family and to learn about their family legacy.  The well documented history and how progressive their morals and beliefs were in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century is nothing short of amazing. It is families and people like the Underwoods who made our country.  I hoped to create a piece of living history to show a time before our entitled society.  Before power tools and even running water, indoor toilets and appliances.  When equality was still  very much in question between genders and races.    Of course you can spin it anyway you want so that our family stands to have financial gain.  And whatever your moral beliefs are on profit, profit is a necessary outcome and a hopeful one. Finances are required to support any venture and extra funds above the operating costs are necessary in order for the operators to feed the family they are taking time away from to operate such a business.  But honestly the business side of things after the renovations, was not really what I was looking forward to.  It was never my dream to run a bed and breakfast or a wedding venue.  The house had the story to tell and it screamed to be shared.  The layout lent itself perfectly to bridal parties getting ready for their event and the property and location just seemed like a perfect fit to that function.   However,  my passion is and always has been strictly the renovation process.  

So really part of me is glad it didn’t pass.   I will restore the house, that’s the process I love, and create a space that some family can enjoy.  And as much as I’m not typically sentimental and hearts and flowers are not my jam,  part of me was excited to maybe renew my vows there, and to be the beginning to so many other families and couples story.   As I have stated before and I will again, more for myself than anyone else,  my kids are at a great stage, and working too much, for me, takes too much time from them.  I will be 110 % present for my kids now instead of the 96.5 % I was during the prep for this project.   And, maybe that’s why God redirected this project, maybe he saw the battle I would constantly have had to fight if I pushed forward.   He knew how draining it would be of my time and resources, just to exist in the proximity to the neighbors that so aggressively stood against the project. So yes, I am disappointed and discouraged.   All the intense leg work I put in over the last eight months feels a bit like a waste.  I will do my best to look at it as another tool in my tool belt and an experience I have learned from and overcome.  It saddens me that neighbors  could not see past a compromise, or the county council members could not see the uniqueness in this property in order to  allow it to be enjoyed by many.  So now I’ll pivot, reroute the resources for a different end goal and move forward.  

I will end with this.  I am signing back off of social media.  I feel it is too high a liability to remain on to share the process unfortunately. I forget it’s not everyone’s outlook to find the good and give benefit of the doubt.  Typically when people have a personal one sided view they don’t take the time to consider the other angles before judging and acting. For that reason I don’t want to be out there anymore distracting my time and resources away from other more important things, and to protect the privacy of myself, my family and the future homeowners, whomever that may be.I truly hope they get off on a better foot with their neighbors than I did. 

I sincerely appreciate, more than most of you will ever know, the support and excitement you shared with me about this project both on and off social media.   And when it’s done I hope to have successfully brought it back to the beautiful, upstanding, high end single family home that it once was in 1886.  

I have never loved antique shopping.  I mean I hold a deep appreciation for the craftsmanship and quality of things made before the digital era.  But I’ve never had a project were incorporating an older style was necessary or beneficial. However, I do love a challenge that pushes me outside my skill set and comfort zone. Forcing me to learn and try something new.      

    I spent the first month of owning the house planning and thinking and creating ideas and making a plan of attack.  Figuring out how to organize all my ideas and keep straight all the history and information I kept collecting.  I learned the hard way, while building my house and working on other projects, that people can’t read my mind and I’m not the most highly skilled at clearly communicating my desired outcome on projects. So this time I think I may have lots of pictures and just grunt and point. 

    As the vision began to materialize in my head I realized the need to search for elements from the past to incorporate into the design.  Mostly first I needed the things that would be influence  plumbing rough ins.  To ensure rough ins were measured correctly and layouts and measurements actually would work the way I saw it in may head. 

    During my first week of facebook and online searching I was ecstatic to meet three local people who collect antiques or shop estate sales or refinished distressed pieces.  Of course they all knew exactly which house I was working on and more than excited to hear about the project.  

    I even seemed to have become instant beasties with a local store owner of The Yellow Heart https://www.facebook.com/theyellowheartllc/ We just hit it off. Maybe it was the excitement of finding someone we could spit ideas and pictures with constantly and never get tired of it. It’s only been a few weeks since I met her but we’ve exchanged more text with pictures and ideas to rival some of my life long friends.

I also met a gentleman who lives around the corner from me who refinish old furniture and other unique items that have been a victim of time.

One of my many ideas is to incorporate a late 1800s wood stove in the house similar to what may have originally been there.  As I was loading up the item I purchased from him after chatting for a bit about my project. He pointed to a large item under a tarp.  The curiosity was too strong I asked if I could peek. 

Oh My Goodness!! What this will look like when is cleaned up!!!

ohhhh my poor brain is reeling with ideas..

I still don’t know exactly how I will do the stove in this house. It feels like one of the biggest decisions beyond the bathrooms. Think about it. Throughout human history; family, friends, daily discussions or major celebrations and announcement so often revolve around the kitchen. Cooking the next meal or preparing a holiday feast together has the potential to create memories and connections that last beyond the meal, place, and time.

Making New Friends

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Will it ever end???

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Will it ever end???

I feel like this delightful hole that just opened up next to the driveway. You pa dow in there and try to sew where it ends. The mounds of never ending paperwork, spread sheets lists, colors, materials. I think I can see where it stops but it’s just out if sight to be sure.

Oh and the hole?? That’s just likely a broken drainage tile that has been discovered thanks to the terential rains we get in Ohio as winter and spring battle over who’s day it is.

Crickets?

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I feel like it has been a minute since I last wrote about this project. Well, come February things kind of exploded in a paperwork, red tape kind of way. The 3rd part of the historic tax credit application finally came out for the development department’s part. That part that has allllllllll the minute fiscal details down to the construction schedule, economic impact, return on investment, funding sources, business operations. So naturally I fixated. The first week of February I was fingers to the keyboard and nose to the screen. I turned everything I had into presentable tables and spread sheets. I answered more questions and repeated answers to redundant questions. And THENNNN, the permit part caught up to me. Ok no big deal I assumed I’d have to pull permits on this project, just hadn’t went down that road yet because nothing had started. But as I call the county to start getting all the lined up as some was necessary for the historic application, that opened another rabbit hold. This one I was not expecting. ZONING!!!

Fortunately or unfortunately, however you want to look at it, I have been to zoning council meetings before. But I was always the neighbor of and never the one applying for. So now it’s my turn. Thank goodness I’m not in town and don’t have a ton of neighbors to convince and come to find out I’m the only one currently on the schedule for the next meeting. So fingers crossed its a laid back causal discussion sharing my vision, to hopefully a board of supporters. But back to the blow up. On top of the historic applicant for development I then had to quickly apply for a conditional use rezoning or some semblance of those terms. And get all my documentation and justification ready to present by next months meeting. And while doing so check in with every other future potential department I may have to work with to see if there is anything they may require in the future. So I called inspectors, residational and commercial per the recommendation of the county, the county engineer who then called the Ohio Department of Transportation to see if there would be any driveway issues. I satellite mapped the driveway and calculated parking and traffic flow, screening and even future signage. I revisited my site plan and narrowed down some things I had not fully finished deciding on.

So although I’m still not completely done with the historic application, as that one had to be put on short but temporary hold, as I got the zoning application and documentation ready to go for that meeting in less than 2 weeks. I do feel like I’m on the down swing of the state historic application. Most of the meet is there. I need to clean it up a little bit more but my brain is fried. I have fallen asleep the moment my head hits the pillow and not even a single dream to speak about. But as soon as I open my eyes in the morning its like a rush of ideas or things I forgot come flooding in. So,like many mornings for weeks now, I pass my snoozing husband, hearing his audible sigh, as I race off to get things done before the the household starts stirring and needing me for non Tower House things.

Window, Window, Window, and more Windows and Window and window! Did I mention Windows?

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There are a few parts of this project that are going to take a huge chunk of the budget and resources and so far the two biggest are not even the ones that are gong to be the show stoppers. They are the subtle deatials or the hidden necessities and they are adding up.

I hadn’t fully counted until recently but there are over 48 windows on this house. And only 7 are fixed and 5 that are not HUGE.

The windows kind of make me feel more bipolar than I likely already am. I mean typically I go int a house and just replace with vinyl and move on. It is a huge budget chunk but doesn’t require much mental stamina or decision making. Double or single hung is the toughest decision.

So when it comes to windows on a house to be restored not renovated there may be more factors to a window than the entire collective house. Sash, sill, jam, mutton, casing, glazing, header, trim, pull, sash cord, stile, weight, weight pocket, access to weight pocket, stop, stool, apron, rail, sill framing, blind stop, parting bead, I think I’ve made my point. If your head is not spinning then you must be a window specialist. Not to mention storm windows that carry an entirely different set of options and factors to consider.

I reached out to a window restoration company and scheduled my first meeting. I scheduled it for 9:30 thinking an hr would be plenty. OHHHH did I underestimate that! 2 hours later and my head spinning I ran back to home to the kids who were waiting to start school. (have I mentioned we homeschool?) But Laryn from Heritage Window Solutions was amazing. As overwhelmed as I was I left the meeting feeling like it was productive and we both had a better understanding. Him, understanding what I was attempting to accomplish and me well, everything I didn’t know, I didn’t know.. which was EVERYTHING!

So weeks later I get my quote back with my window key codes and details per 48 windows. I sit and ponder more decisions, operable, not operable, screens that slide or attach with clips. clips that attach for an interior or exterior removal. And just when I think I have it figured out… I realize I missed one major factor that I had hoped I maybe possibly wouldn’t have to face. So needless to say as I was about to sign the deposit check to get the storms ordered, after so much agonizing over the decision I ripped it up and ask them to hold. Because I had a date with the county zoning council. Which then very rapidly unraveled an entire slew of other agencies that I had not been formally acquainted who will now get the honor or sharing this journey with me.

Stalling

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 I should never have called Dan.  The second I did and we started discussing the reality of my ideas for this project and when the two of us brainstorm  nothing seems impossible.  We have worked on quite a few projects together over the years.  Very few people see my vision without me having to verbalize it and Dan is one of them.  He was my second call after my realtor to ask his opinion if I was certifiably insane to even consider this project.   I told him later that the call was basically the same as an addict calling their dealer for encouragement to quit.  I knew the answer before I called but needed to just hear out loud from someone I trusted and knows this area better than I do that I was indeed crazy to even consider it but to hurry up and make the offer. 

So after the dust had settled from the purchase and some ideas had started to materialize I reached out again to share my ideas with him and ask if they were even possible.  Again not sure why I bother.   Dan is the eternal optimist. Of course he is going to tell me it’s possible.  And of course when I start sending my ideas he finishes them before I can even complete my text thread of pictures that were going to have the exact same details he predicted.  

 Like faux feet on the cabinets to make it look more like furniture..

But since then  I have been falling deeper into the rabbit hole of dreaming and creating.  I have pinterest boards, old fashioned collage boards all getting put together in my huge sketch pad I bought myself just for this project.  

Screenshot, print, cut paste, repeat, rip out replace start all over. 

But what I really need to be doing is filling out my historical tax credit application.  Ugggh.. the financial side of me is shaking her finger at the creative dancing and pleading to be let loose.  

I have learned there is a tax credit for restoring historic homes on the national registry.   The paperwork to me seems more daunting than applying to college, but 20-25% dollar for dollar credit is not chump change .  So the responsible CFO in me is pushing to get that application in order and over with especially while my mom is in town visiting to help with some of the edits. 

100 Copies Later..

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I have been gradually diving deeper and deeper into not only the history of this house but ordering historcial architectural and design books and researching what plumbing and bathrooms would even entail in 1886. 

 I have reached out to the Clinton County Historic Society first then Xenia Libray and Waynesville. Xenia was able to help me find a copy of a fictional novel written by Matilda Underwood which I immediately ordered the only copy of off Amazon.

 I have yet to find her autobiography but I’m still on the hunt. I found even more at the Waynsville library!

 I spent 3 hours copying everyting they had. Since its historical documents it has to remain there. Thank goodness for technology I turned over 100 pages into PDFs in that 3 hours from my phone.  The libraian was not only helpful but her and the other librarian mentioned having known one of the descendants of the Underwoods,  who built the house! They offered to take my name and information and pass it along to the family if they should want to reach out. I eagrly wrote down my name and number on the tini scrap paper having no clue what would come of it.
I’m not sure yet how-to relay the immense history just yet but I’m brainstorming the best way to share it all. 

Habitat Restore for the SCORE!!

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I was really only taking the few hours on a Saturday, that I had kid and husband free while he dropped kids off at grandmas, to go collect ideas.  But my first stop at the Habitat Restore altered those plans.  $270 later and 2 full truck loads, I’m desperately trying to unload it all by myself in time to not be late for our once in a never time date night. Including an expanding dinning table I had to unload on my own without braking or letting fall out of the truck as I tried to pull it out without it falling before racing home to meet my husband. He likely knows this already, but I could have stayed at Tower House for hours and continued to find things to do and ideas to write down.  Or just sit and admire my first haul of stuff. I mean I was only intending to buy things that directly affected plumbing, vanities, sinks etc.  Things needed  before rough ins could even begin to be set. But come on a free standing washbasin, 4 poster rope bed, mid 20th century expanding dinning table and chairs, THAT ARE ACTUALLY COMFORTABLE TO SIT IN!!  Among smaller other items all 50 % off restore prices!!! What can I say? Im just going to justify the premature purchases as a capitalizing on opportunity to stretch my budget and support a local charity.

Side note I have yet to figure out how to expand the dining room table but I have really only giving it a few minutes. However the fact its stuck closed probably helped persevere it and allow me to unload it on m own safely.

Humbling

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It really is quite humbling to own this house. I think its because not only is it well known but it has peaked the interest of many over the years. Every time I meet a new contractor out there or friend to show them around they are just in awe. Most times they ask if I mind if they take pictures to show to their friend, co worker, etc. The appreciation for the craftsmanship of this house is just remarkable.

Then there are the occasions when acquaintances realize its me who bought the place. Everyone around town saw it go up for sale. (well everyone except me it seems). And everyone saw it go fast. I walked in to pick up my son from getting his hair cut to, “your son just told me what house you just bought!!” or, the txt, “I just heard from so and so that you are the one that bought the yellow house with the tower! Is that true?” Maybe its a biased sampling because the people I associate with all have similar interests or we have done projects together in the past but it does kind of feel like I’m the cool kid on the block. This coming from the shy girl who just tried to pass under the radar in high school had a total of 2 friends and didn’t come into her own until mid 30s. Oh well, maybe this house is going to help me just as much as I hope to help it.

OMG!! It Keeps Getting Better

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I mentioned in an earlier post how much it will pain me to rip up the current floors but I had every intention to use them in the rooms that had ugly tile or hap-hazerdly laid sub floor that was falling apart. However, as I was measuring, for some other reason, I was down in the corner of one of the largest rooms looking at trim, when I noticed something peering out from under what I though was subfloor. I ran to grab my crow bar, like a crazy person. My husband, who happened to be on site at that time just stood and stared completely confused about what was so exciting to prompt running through the house with a crow bar. I guess you could consider him crazy too, or just immune to his wife exstatically running around with a crow bar. But he just stood there perplexed yet unconcered.  Never the less, I pull up the rotted sub floor in, with much greater ease than I expected, and there it is looking up at me what I believe to be the original floor!! Its under there !! 

My sweet husband did not share my enthusiasm.  

Maybe this is a good time to dive a bit deeper into our dynamics and indiviudal strengths and weaknesses. He is not a visual persons. He communicates well and is the social half. He’s they guy that everyone is friends with. He has been the Best Man at more weddings than any lifetime movie. And although he will humbly call himself an ass hole and is genuinely perplexed way so many friends have asked this of him, he really is the kind of friend that you can depend on. He doesn’t judge, he accepts you for who you are and will give you the shirt off his back without even thinking about how the sacrifice will effect him. But visualizing a concept or idea, even when if it’s drawn out in as much detail as a C.A.D. drawing, is not a talent he posses. I on the other hand prefer my family and close friends to any social environment. I do not like being in front of people and I am not a great communicator.  But I can create and visualize a concept.  We laugh because its become a running joke that, while I was designing our own kitchen I brought him ideas and hand sketches and even a professional digital rendering, down to the details of the door fronts and hardware, of what our kitchen would look like. But the day the kitchen was complete we stood there together admiring how great it turned out and he turns to me, “Did you know it was going to look like this?!!?!?”   You can just imagin my perplexed, sideways glance as if he must be joking. But there he was looking right back at me deadpan serious with that question.  I SHOWED HIM A FREAKIN DRAWING!! How could he not have known, but he honestly has other talents and that is not one. I didn’t realize until that point that he couldn’t read my mind. Just kidding, but I do wish he could. He also later confessed to having no clue where our bedroom was going to be either. Even though I walked him room by room through the house during framing, and drywall. God love him.
    Back to floor. I have not gotten under the tile in the bathrooms yet but if I was a betting person I think it just may be under there as well, not sure Ill keep wood floor in a bathroom anyway but still fun to uncover more history the as I gradually explore this place.  I guess time will tell.  The goal is to have all my plans, ideas and layouts pretty solid before any demo starts but every time I think I have a direction figured out a new idea comes up or I discover something else. Have I mentioned the family memoirs about Matilda add this house? Well from what I have read, constructing took longer than planned because Matilda kept getting new ideas. Lordy I love this lady and her house more and more every day.